this isn't how it's posed to be...

this is a 21+ only post. not because of explicit content or historical references that would leave teenagers confused, but simply because i said so. there is no previous disclaimer about this restriction posted anywhere on the web. so if you clicked on the link to this blog and you are under 21, i'm sorry. all you did was waste a few seconds of your time and added another item onto the 'history' list of Safari or Firefox. loitering on this post is not allowed either, and even if you're just going to be on this page and not actually read it, well thats not acceptable either. you can't enter a 21+ venue or bar with the excuse "oh, i won't drink. i just want to be here." i know, it makes sense. but hey, sucks for you...

so with the knowledge that this intro did not prevent anyone who was normally going to read this from doing so, i will begin. you're all just lucky that i can't card you at the entrance to a website...

it's hard to compare 2 different things when you haven't been informed on all the aspects of both ideas, or experienced both first hand. you can't say "damn, Six Flags is so much cooler than Disneyland" if you've never been to Disneyland (guys and girls, more flags more fun. c'mon there are no flags at Disneyland. zero flags. NONE flags, that means NONE fun.) okay, i'm not siding with Six Flags or Disneyland, because to be honest i kind of despise amusement parks, especially the ones that claim to be "the happiest place on earth." holy shit, if only there was such a place that actually existed on this earth that had the right to hold that title. seriously, thats what attracts all the people there. they all go expecting it to live up to its motto, but personally i think it fails tremendously. i'd say 'epic fail' but that phrase is almost as played out as miley montana's new super jam about partying in the USSR (and the Stalin song was on, and the Stalin song was on...blah blah you've all heard it and watched the music video too many times already). so instead, i'll just give Disneyland six (6) flags for failure (more flags, more failure).

but honestly, poor comparisons happen all the time, and its frustrating to know that people assume things for no reason. i tend to lose credibility when i use ridiculous things such as run-down amusement parks as analogies for something i think is actually important, though.

i have something that i want to share right now, but its been difficult attempting to explain it while still making sense. normally i would just say "screw it" and write everything that i am thinking, regardless of its credibility or legibility or understandability or comperhendability or even drinkability. so i am actually refraining from doing so until i find the right words to fully portray that certain 'ability' that all my sentences seem to encompass. and i'm doing this because its important to me, so there has to be some sort of serious aura surrounding the body of text that the idea lies in.

by the way, the past hasn't been too good. and that includes everything up to this point. or this point. or even that point over there...or that point that i talked about before that other point. remember that point? yeah, that point sucked cas it was in the past. i'm talking about years, months, weeks, days, and even just a mere few hours ago. sometimes things are alright (occasionally they are SUPER RAD!), but alright isn't great. and i'm hoping for great. at least good, but i'd be content with content. if i didn't know me very well, i'd say i was a pretty happy guy just by observing what i've written and the way i come off to people in general. but if i didn't at least make an attempt to be happy, then i would go crazy wishing i was. and i was crazy in my last post, so i'm trying to change it up a bit, ya know? c'mon payson, whats the haps on the craps?

the future is up for grabs though. i'm an optimistic person, so i hate to ASSUME that the future will be just like the past. but i can think that it will based on the fact that not too many things have changed (actually a lot has changed, but not much change seems to come along with the changes...anyone?). but, "hope" is what we're all looking for. America herself has gained "hope" thru new leadership and smarter judgement, (please don't share your political thoughts with me, i'm generalizing for the greater good of this blog, so i apologize to the McCain supporters who haven't realized that Obama already won. yes J.C., thats you.) and the Penguins gained "hope" when Lemieux rescued them from bankruptcy and recently led them to defeat one of the greatest teams of all time in a match for the Stanley Cup. so there is always hope where there is hope. but when you don't hope for hope, than you're hopeless. but i can't blame you. we all watched Tom and Jerry when it was a regular on Cartoon Network, did Tom ever catch Jerry successfully for more than a minute or so? sure he got the little mouse in his determined grip once or twice, but that was just Jerry being a tease because he felt bad for him occasionally. that is a situation that i would stamp with a big fat "No Hope" sign, and its difficult to refrain from doing the same with life. its important to look on the positive side of things when possible, but if the positive side does not exist, then we'd be looking at nothing. no one likes to look at nothing, so we're forced to view the negative side unwillingly. but they seem to come hand in hand, like a battery. there will always be a positive and negative side to something, but not everything, in life. catch 22, and we're done with it for now...you can't stand your mother-in-law so you sometimes wish she would die. turns out she just drove off a cliff and killed herself, but she was driving your brand new ferrari. happy now? asshole...never wish for death.

so it is what it is. i lose track of what i was really planning to say when i start writing about what just kinda pops into my head. so these things never turn out the way i think they will...but take it as you will. and stay away from large bags of m&m's. i mean the party-sized bags, like the ones that are Kevin Malone's favorite. look what happened to him, that is not desirable. do yourself a solid and keep it personal and hand-holdable when it comes to purchasing bags of candy-coated candies.

oh and if you're looking for things to consider, well then consider on...

1. what happened to the Number #1 pencils?

2. where are the wild things? (well, obviously they are where the wild things are)

3. try snapping and crackling without popping.

4. discover what a flash-mob is and then attempt to do something similar, i find it very amusing.

5. just think about contact lenses, think about what they do.

6. consider the idea that you're still reading this...

7. why is a chicken omelette a bad idea?

8. knowing where waldo is, well thats a million dollar piece of knowledge that you can pretend you know...

10. there is no "deal" with airline food. its just food 30,000 feet up in the air. the fact that it may suck is in no relation to that fact that it is on an airplane. its just crappy food.

11. bill cosby just came out of the political closet as a conservative, i wonder if that affects his love for jello pudding pops...

12. no, you are not a jerk.

13. according to Steven Colbert...I Am America, and So Can You.

14. i skipped number 9, and if 6 were 9? well you get the point, thanks jimi.

15. why do we penalize death with more death?

16. obey.

17. there is no "I" in "Team," so you should just quit.

18. people aren't really afraid of the "dark." their just afraid of the crazy things that are associated with darkness, like rapists and serial killers. okay, that might have been kind of intense, but i'm too old to say something like the boogieman.

19. i'm currently eating m&m's out of a party-sized bag, so that may explain a few things.

20. Nature Valley bars should be the official treat of the party, of any party. right jack and jeremy?

21. consider that you're greedy, cas you already have 20 other things to consider right now...

if you're one of those people who will check out music purely based on a recommendation, than i recommend the new People Under The Stairs album entitled "Carried Away." it's their seventh album, and no one is putting it down like they are right now.

and if you ignore recommendations, or you've already heard the album, then there's a Mos Def song posted below. he also released a new LP during the summer, but you can't go wrong with "Black On Both Sides."

the breakin, the scratchin, this thing called rappin. the cultivating music that keeps ya hands clappin.

the rhythm, the spirit, ya love it when ya hear it. nowadays when you're sampling shit, ya gotta clear it.

they say that goodness in life belongs to those who believe, so believe. get got. get love.

enjoy...

Silver M&M's

Most of what I write about will come as a surprise to people I know. Hell, the fact that I even created a blog will be a little strange. Some people have told me that it's a great medium to express my thoughts thru, and others think I'm almost funny enough to hold the attention of whoever is willing to give this a read. One kid really encouraged it, I guess he thought that I could use it as a place to spit out all my random thoughts and gibberish, like space and time being essentially the same thing, and thoughts about going back 5 minutes in time so I could have chosen not to eat that silver m&m. Normally I would just dump all that nonsense (seriously it makes sense if you think about it, Jeremy) on him thru IM nightly, but now I figure I can just type away all that I ponder here, so that it is at every one's disposal to read and enjoy.

I had a job this summer that required (motivated, I should say) me to write an article for a newsletter once a week. Honestly, there was not one guideline or restriction as to what one could talk about in these articles (although I was disappointed when the director made me lengthen my final article of the summer...it could have been an awesomely epic 2 lines of farewell-esq greatness, but no. I was forced to add to it. Sometimes less is more, and that was some time, believe me.) Most of the time you would find yourself reading about a typical summer day or an epic adventure to Palisades Pizza. But by the end of the next page, you could have received an entire biography on Thomas Kinkade, the self-proclaimed "most-collected living artist in America," better known as "The Painter Of Light." I cannot lie, his work is amazing. Aside from his totally conceited personality, I would have to say that he is an okay guy. But, to make it clear, we worked at a day camp...not an independent travel agency that boasted about their lovely trips to California, or the birthplace of perhaps the most arrogant artist of all time (which is coincidentally California too...damn, that makes that joke a whole lot better). These articles became the base of my writing inspiration. I loved writing them week after week, and I couldn't stop just because camp ended in august. I didn't enjoy it enough to the extent that I would end up pursuing a major in journalism like my sister did (she has that day camp to thank for her career path) but it also wasn't something that I was going to give up on so quickly. To be honest, the articles I wrote in July were much more extravagant than what I am portraying to you now, but that's only because anyone outside of the camp would think we were all crazy if we continued to express ourselves in the same manner we did during the summer. No worries though, I tend to write crazy things that I don't think are crazy at the time I'm writing them, and I only realize that they are crazy when someone comes up to me and says, "Hey Spencer! That was crazy!" Then I'll be like "You think so?" Then he'll be like "Of course dude, only a crazy person would write such a crazy thing." Then I'll get nervous because multiple people will show up to openly mock me as they all say in unison, "You're crazy!!!"

So ya know, that's that...and that.

There is a beginning to everything, so I figured I should state my reasons for opening up my mind to the interweb now, especially if I plan to continue this. If I didn't talk about how it all originated, than I'd have to go back and explain the matter later on, after I became famous for my blogs ("You're crazy Spencer!"). I guess prequels can be really exciting though, I mean just look at Star Wars. If George Lucas didn't make his inter-galactic creation in the fashion that he did, then Harrison Ford would be playing Han Solo while he was like 60 years old. Think of Indiana Jones, you know the new one with Shia LaBeouf? That's just no good. Es no bueno!! (yeah I feel for the Hispanics reading this)...Shit just ain't rite yo!! (can I say that's for all y'all speaking Ebonics without sounding racist?) Ce n'est pas une bonne!! (come on, it's the language of love) つまりは良い!! (you can't blame me, I work in a dojo).

Anyhow, maybe I should stop. I think I have achieved all that the stereotype of a geek stands for today. I started a blog (cool dude!) I quoted myself discussing the space/time continual (...why?) I related my already half-assed blog to Star Wars (i mean you can just stop there, I've had enough man [seriously though, you all know you love Star Wars]) In an attempt to throw some cool on this thing, I had to bring up the fact that I worked at an amazing day camp this summer (dawg, I worked there too. you're not special) I now feel the need to explain some of my jokes just because I'm worried no one understands me (finally you get one thing right, that stuff about California? garbage deluxe my man, sorry) Then I began to make fun of myself, classic attempt at a cover-up (so true, but "You're still crazy Spencer!") And now, on top of all that. I actually had to write this last paragraph to save you the effort of thinking. Instead you can just read your thoughts, because I typed them out for you in parenthesis right there on the screen...yeah it's fine, thank me later.

And all of the sudden I feel really good about myself and my work now. Which makes it terribly hard to close because I feel like the last words need to live up to the super great amazingness that is this blog post. And as you know by now, I'm not exactly great with words, so...

Music. It's a universal language, there's no need for me to explain it (or fail to explain it).

Song posted below. Let's end on a good note...or a terrible pun. My apologies.

Enjoy